Fly American from Austin to New York

Oh, the joy of planning a trip from Austin to New York! No, really, it's a downright thrill matching wits with that pesky flight-scheduling algorithm, hunting for the elusive 'cheap flights' no one else has discovered. Boy, we just love a challenge, don’t we?

Arguably, finding "affordable" flights is akin to exploring the depth of the Mariana Trench with nothing but a toy submarine. But hey, wouldn't you, sitting behind your screens, like to navigate the intricate labyrinths of airfare, baggage allowance, frequent flyer programs, and whatnot? Oh, and let’s not forget the age-old debate: one-way or round-trip? Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man has got nothing on us savvy travelers, no sir.

Pro-tip: While 'Domestic flights' may sound as casual as that charming neighborhood Sunday brunch, the phrase 'flight duration' will soon be haunting your dreams. Why, you ask? Well, isn't it delightful to be packed tighter than sardines in economy class for hours with a baby’s serenade in the background? Of course, you always get the option to upgrade to business class or, oh la la, the first-class cabin if you're willing to auction off your left kidney. Who wouldn’t be, right?

Forget about non-stop or direct flights because, clearly, sitting in some far-flung airport waiting for a layover during an arctic snowstorm is precisely what joy looks like. Connecting flights, my friends, are the real way to get in touch with your spiritual self. The farther flung and snowier, the better. You will promptly find your Zen while staring at flight schedule board hoping your flight won’t get canceled.

But dear travelers, let’s take a moment to appreciate something that actually deserves it— 'In-flight services'. I mean, who doesn't love paying $10 for a sandwich that tastes like cardboard and has been sitting there longer than King Tut's tomb has been discovered? And, oh, the free bag of pretzels! Please don’t get me started on the sheer ecstasy of trying and failing to connect to that complimentary WiFi - now that’s an experience to tell the grandchildren about!

However, if you're part of the 'Frequent flyer' club, your luck just might be in. But wait, either way, you still have to decode the Enigma which is the mileage program. You would honestly need a cryptography degree to decipher how on Earth to earn and redeem miles in the most advantageous way. Or you could just place a faith in your three-leafed clover and hope for the best.

Now, don't let me dissuade you from this grand adventure. After all, isn't the 'best time to book' always, well, anytime we can muster up the courage to wade through this myriad of airlines, airfares, and undecipherable fine print? Be sure to read those airline reviews. They're handy when choosing between apocalyptic and dystopian flying experiences.

So, go forth, brave souls! Buckle up for your flight from Austin to New York. Get ready to ride the turbulence of flight planning with the euphoria of a roller coaster, minus the safety bar and any sense of fun. But hey, you are traveling after all, and isn’t that adventure worth it? Safe travels!