Fly American from Bismarck to Raleigh

Oh, thrill-seekers and spontaneous globetrotters everywhere rejoice! You're probably thinking, "Oh puh-leeze, not another canned advice article on how to catch a flight from the bustling metropolis that is Bismarck, ND to...oh right, another small city that could be swapped out for any other in America. Sounds so rivetingly unique. Do fill me in."

And why, indeed, wouldn't you ask? Pack your bags, folks - we're going to give you the scenic route from Bismarck on American Airlines to the awe-inspiringly average Raleigh, NC (No, darling, not ND. That was probably a typo).

Ah, flights. Each one a windowless cylinder of recycled air, and identical bland chicken meals, barreling across the skies at nerve-wracking speed. You can choose from the regular gambit of options that are critical to the financial solvency of every major airline: Non-stop, One-way, Round-trip, Red-eye flights - they lobbied hard for these exclusive tags. Could there be anything more tempting?

Of course, let's not forget the sweet possibilities of having a layover. That desperate rush through sterile corridors to yet another gate, filled with equally tired and grumpy strangers can now be yours on "Connecting Flights". Terrific! But wait, it gets better!

What if I told you that you could club the fellowship of shared misery with the sheer fun of playing airfare lottery? You can actually find cheap flights if you book in advance but God forbid, if you're a free spirit and decide on a last-minute scramble, be prepared to loosen those purse strings a tad...or a lot. Don't you just love the predictability of airlines? I sure do.

But hey, maybe you're done playing economy class roulette. Perhaps you're ready for the high life; maybe first-class or business class. You know, where the seats are less akin to reinforced sardine cans and more resemble something humans could use without a lifetime of chiropractic treatment afterwards. For the maximum chance to acquire these prized upgrades, I will suggest you join the airline's frequent flyer or mileage program; an exciting club where you are rewarded for spending more and more of your hard-earned cash! Sounds lose-lose to me.

No spiel about American Airlines would be complete without a mention of their flight schedule. It's also worth taking a quick look at the airline reviews. Because really, why not dig into what other disgruntled passengers had to say to really get you in the traveling spirit.

In all fairness, American Airlines does offer quite a lot. In-flight services cover the basic needs of every human (minus the space to fully recline or extend your legs, but who needs that, right?). And did we mention they have a semi-believable flight cancellation policy? So if you do need to cancel last-minute, you may have a snowball's chance in hell of getting a refund.

And the cherry on top? The baggage allowance. Just think about the thrill of playing a real-life Tetris game, trying to fit a week's worth of clothes and your dignity within the spatial and weight constraints.

So, there you have it. Our heart-pounding, adrenaline-spiking, nails-biting “guide” to flying from Bismarck to Raleigh with American Airlines. Bon voyage!