Fly American from Carmel to Chicago

So there you are, lounging on a coastal cottage porch in the sunny nook of California known as Carmel, sipping an impressive 2018 Cab and thinking, “Well isn't it time for a room with a view of the 'Windy City'?” Congratulations, you've decided it's high time for a flight, and not just any flight, off course! An American flight from Carmel in CA to Chicago, of course, is your best bet. Now, buckle up and let's begin the satirical yet informative expedition into the skies of the "airfare industrial complex."

Now, whether you are a 'red-eye flight' aficionado or a devotee of 'direct flights,' one thing you need to remember is your 'baggage allowance.' Oh, the dreaded baggage allowance! You’d think your checked-in luggage qualifies for a full-scale interrogation by the weight-conscious airline geeks. Very often, it’s less about ensuring your suitcase isn't smuggling an elephant than it is about charitably helping you to lighten your load... by helping you to empty your wallet, of course!

But fear not my fellow frequent flyer, your dalliance with the airline dynamic need not be a perpetual comedy of errors. Instead, consider making the most of the 'round-trip' rather than the 'one-way' pity party you sometimes find yourself sobbing at, mid-air. Although, let's be real, what's better than converting your air miles into sweet little perks and privileges with the 'Mileage program'? Nothing, dear traveler, nothing!

An American flight from pristine Carmel to Charming Chicago, though a 'Domestic flight,' could feel like an 'International flight' if you play your cards right. Picture yourself sipping that complementary on-board Cabernet, knees stretched out in the 'business class,' and feeling as if you’re soaring the European skies. My dear traveler, this is not your usual flight of fancy, it’s every mileage program participant’s dream come true!

But beware, there is a beast lurking beneath the belly of the 'cheap flights' market. Its official name is 'Flight cancellation policy' and it’s known to make grown men weep and penny pinchers faint. Terse, unyielding and draped in fine print, the Flight cancellation policy will eat up your hard-earned money faster than you can say 'First-class.' So, remember to read the terms and conditions as if you're savoring a fine novel or perhaps, defusing a bomb, whichever simile hits closer to home.

Who-ever said that buyer's beware, surely had the 'flight schedule' in mind. The notorious flight schedule could be a more complex piece of document than the Da Vinci code. But, patience, dear traveler, a detailed study today will save you from running like a headless chicken in the airport tomorrow.

Now, you cannot trust any 'airline reviews' you find online, unless you are sure the reviewer hasn’t been bribed with an extra pack of peanuts or an aisle seat. Not every flight deal is the 'best time to book,' and many a times, the promised 'in-flight services' may turn out to be nothing more than a single mysterious pack of salted crackers and regret.

Keeping all this in mind, I bid you adieu and safe travels. May your American flight from charming Carmel to charismatic Chicago be as light and enjoyable as this piece of satire. And remember, next time you plan such an adventurous expedition, don't just wing it, plan it!