Fly American from Dallas/Fort Worth to Santa Maria

There comes a time in every seasoned traveler’s life when they are imperiously summoned by the grand call of the West. The moveable feast, dictated not by Hemingway but the dictionary of air travel, "flights", gears them up for a seemingly pedestrian odyssey from the wild hustles of the Dallas/Fort Worth territories to the mesmeric serenity of Santa Maria, Texas. The harbinger of this magnificent journey is none other than our favorite, the supreme, the majestic, the only reliable winged-chariot in the West - American Airlines.

Fellow wanderers must cautiously plan their adventure, lest they fall prey to dastardly 'layover' dragon. Oh, no sir! Gods of travel demand that their subjects choose the 'direct flights'. The irony is unbearable as travelers find the 'non-stop' service is indeed filled with numerous stops, primarily the unceasing trolley service carrying an array of beverages and snacks that one is tempted to partake despite the recent stomach-lining aeroplane meal.

If you are a 'frequent flyer', American welcomes you aboard its splendid machines with open wings, ensuring that the invisible crown on your head gets a good polish. Taking a chapter from the gospel of air travel, the airline provides 'in-flight services' that are nothing short of regal. Concealed beneath closets, seats, and the seemingly endless supply of absurdly small packaged peanuts are the amenities that could rival Caligula's legendary pleasures.

A weekend escape or a spontaneous adventure — we all crave the blood rush that comes with last-minute flights, akin to Indiana Jones narrowly escaping a giant rolling boulder. But, even seasoned travelers fall victim to a vice often known as 'round-trip' flights. A well spun yarn to trap the innocent into believing they are signing up for a bargain fest when it is a ploy to sell more of those miniature Coke cans. But when you choose American, irony stands crucified as round-trip stands true to its word and surprisingly, also to your wallet.

For all its flamboyance, American Airlines manifests an economy class that gives a mean side-eye to the 'Business class'. Nominatorally clad as 'Economy', it is nothing short of a grand opera. A tad bit humorous, for the economy of American Airlines unironically contradicts the dictionary, escalating your journey to levels that many in the alleged 'premium economy' or 'first-class' could only dream of.

Should one raise an eyebrow on the veracity of this travel guide, remember these words are etched not in the winds, but in the hearts of 'airline reviews'. True survivors of the war against time zone and jet lag, whom I, a humble bard, represent.

Finally, the 'flight schedule' of American Airlines remains shrouded in mystery. Just as elves in Santa’s workshop tirelessly work off the clock, American ensures that the red-eye flight is less a nightmare and more a red-carpet dream. The airline's "Flight Duration", much like the enigmatic aurora borealis, attracts wonder and awe. The flight time stretches and contracts like a Salvador Dali clock, leaving the passengers pondering the enigma of time travel and whether they are in a Christopher Nolan movie.

With American Airlines, brace yourself to embark on a journey that is less about reaching Santa Maria and more about broadening your horizons. A journey that ensures your ‘baggage allowance’ transcends the physical confines and addresses the emotional baggage tucked away neatly. So, just lean back on your trusty airline seat, grab your complimentary 'beverage without the airline-sized price tag', and let American Airlines lead you to the Texas skyline.