Fly American from Denver to Portland

Ah, the pure joy of embarking on the well-worn trail of flying from the snow-capped peaks of Denver, Colorado to the resplendent metropolises of... well, Portland, Colorado. Can we pause for a moment to ponder on the cosmic comedy of this scenario? Let's dive into this quixotic journey of domestic flights.

Firstly, one must carefully tread through the perilous landscape known as airline booking. The variety of flights from round-trip to one-way, non-stop to multi-layover, truly is a testament to the human spirit's unwavering thirst for unnecessary choice.

After selecting our flight (preferably one of the many 'cheap flights' that seem to be a rarity, like a unicorn that only shows its horn at the peak of a full moon), we make the brave decision to dare the economy class and the unforgiving realities of its baggage allowance. A word of caution - measure your suitcase, for not all cuboids are created equal in the aviation world!

Now, let's spend an inordinate amount of time obsessing over the best time to book the flight. Let's face it, we would rather wrestle a grizzly than pay full airfare. We grapple with the existential dread of being the fool who paid $50 more for the same flight because they dared to book in the harsh light of day instead of the auspicious witching hour.

As we hurtle through the endless skies on our non-stop flight, we offer silent prayers to be blessed with a direct flight, deprived of the "scenic views" during a layover. But the universe, in its boundless jest, instead blesses you with a Connecting Flight! Why take a straight path from Denver to Portland, Colorado, when one can embark on the great American safari that includes a stopover in, oh, let's say, Texas?

Lulled by the persistent hum of the aircraft and the in-flight services (which, let's be honest, is often just another amusing little cosmic jest), we descend from our lofty heights, a battle-hardened frequent flyer, and touch down in Portland. We have successfully navigated the intricate dance of airline chaos, and emerged triumphantly in the bustling civilization known as Portland, ready to regale others with tales of our epic journey.

And let us not forget the flight cancellation policy! A policy as enticing as a Russian novel with the allure and ease of quantum physics. But, dear traveler, remember that similar to Schrodinger's Cat, your flight is both cancelled and not cancelled until you open the proverbial email of doom.

Naturally, upon finally arriving at our destination, we are greeted, not by the mighty Colorado River or the majestic Rockies but hey, there is the Chipotle across the street, serving as a comforting beacon of constancy in the unpredictable world of domestic travel.

So, my fellow globe-trotters (or should I say, state-trotters?), let this little narrative serve as a gentle reminder to keep your wits (and wallets) about you, when braving the treacherous skies. Embody the spirit of every satirical sitcom's all-knowing, seldom-heeded words of wisdom: it's all about the journey, not the destination.