Fly American from Miami to Missoula

Well, buckle up, fellow wanderlusters! We're about to embark on a whimsical journey, not only in mid-air but also amidst a kaleidoscope of words. Let's dive into the vibrant realm of planning for that perfect flight from Miami, the sun-soaked, salsa-rhythmed Floridian capital, to Missoula - a place that doesn't exist in Florida, of course (Humor Alert!). Oops, looks like our map reading squirrel has lost his glasses. Don't worry though, I'm sure he'll find them again after a fun-packed, ridiculous adventure. Hold on to your fedoras, the amusement is about to begin.

The first hurdle we face is akin to wandering through the labyrinthine corridors of Hogwarts – determining which flight we need to board. Oh, the abundance of choices! We have 'Non-stop', ‘Direct flights’, ‘One-way’, ‘Round-trip’, forming a conundrum worthy of a mastermind’s attention. While a ‘non-stop’ flight is like an over-caffeinated flamingo straightlining its route without a break, a ‘direct flight’ might stop for refreshments (probably for a cuppa herbal tea).

Whether you’re a homing pigeon oriented towards a ‘round-trip’ or an adventurous albatross eyeing a ‘one-way’ trip, both options are available to you. Just remember, like picking Hogwarts over Durmstrang, choosing wisely can change the adventure entirely!

Carpetbaggers with a bit of budget constraint might be interested in ‘cheap flights’. Here’s a little secret – the ‘best time to book’ is usually a Tuesday afternoon, when the airlines' 'Flight deals’ are hotter than Voldemort on a good hair day.

When it comes to classes, forget Gryffindor or Hufflepuff, the real question is are you ‘First-class’, ‘Business class’, ‘Economy class’ or ‘Premium economy’? Are you up for the wizard-wand meals in first-class, or the invisibility-cloak leg room in ‘Economy class’? Choose wisely, dear muggles, for each class implies a different level of ‘in-flight services’ freedom.

Now, let’s talk 'Baggage allowance'. This topic tends to generate more myths than Loch Ness Monster sightings. But fear not! Each class of service has its own baggage limitation, ranging from a tiny Niffler-sized pouch to a heaping Hippogriff-worthy hoard. So instead of trying to figure out the weight of your baggage by comparing it to your Aunt Mildred, consult your airline for precise limits. It’ll save you a fair few Galleons at check-in.

Almost done now! Having picked a class, luggage, and spell (err, I mean, ticket) type, remember to check out the ‘Airline reviews’ before embarking on your journey. This will give you insights into other travelers' magical journey experiences, akin to peeping through the Pensieve into a trove of memories.

Lastly, do consider joining their ‘Frequent flyer’ or 'Mileage program'. You may collect your miles like Gringotts' gold and redeem them for future flights, upgrades, and more! Just don't hoard them like a dragon, these miles are meant to be spent!

Safe journeys, fellow travelers, and remember – the real magic lies in the journey, not the destination! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a squirrel to find...