Fly American from New York to Newark

Picture this: avid explorers and wander-bugs itching to traverse the concrete jungle that never sleeps, armed only with a one-way ticket on an American flight from New York, NY to Newark, NY. Now, I know what you're thinking: who needs a plane to cross such a petty distance? Why, the citizens of the Big Apple, of course! For whom, a 15-mile commute resembles a Hobbit's journey to Mordor, fraught with perils like traffic snarls and honking cab drivers with tempers shorter than a bottomless coffee cup.

Our expedition commences at JFK, the buzzing hive of travellers. Surrounded by a whirlwind of international flights and brisk red-eye flights, your flight will feel like zipping across your neighbor's yard. You might even be tempted to wave at ol’ Mrs. Robinson watering her geraniums as you pass over Brooklyn en route. Ah, the joy of domestic flights!

But we are not talking about any ordinary flight. We are talking about a luxurious non-stop service from American Airlines. Now hold on to your neck pillows because here comes the mind-boggling part: the flight duration. Brace yourselves! A whopping 19 to 22 minutes. Yes, you can barely fax your grandma's secret potato salad recipe to your third cousin twice-removed in that blink-and-you'll-miss-it flight duration!

Now onto your carriage of the highest caliber - the Business Class. One could call it a Premium Economy, but let's keep the posh terminology for those connecting flights from Newark to Abu Dhabi, shall we? In your comfortable theater-like plush recliners, you would barely experience turbulence, let alone the bump/barrage of a stroller by harrowed parents wrestling diaper bags and squirming toddlers.

And let's talk about the in-flight services. If you think stepping into the airplane is like entering Narnia, then the in-flight experience is akin to being served High Tea by Mr. Tumnus himself. Seared-cucumber sandwiches and macarons? Let’s add 'em to the menu! But if the notion of savoring hot tea during your trip disheartens you (since the drink would be barely lukewarm by the time it hits your taste buds), don’t fret! There’s always time for a quick tipple. Good luck savoring that Bruno Paillard Premiere Cuvée Extra Brut Champagne though, as the flight attendant would barely have finished describing its notes before your descent commences.

And let's not forget about the baggage allowance, for this is no ordinary flight where you trifle with carry-on luggage. Have a gilt-trimmed, monogrammed, vintage Louis Vuitton trunk? Bring it along with your monogrammed cat as well. The airline accepts all the eccentricities of its customers with open arms and overhead compartments.

Last but not least, let's delve into that hot topic dear to all - airfare! Alas, the party has to end somewhere. Or does it? With flight deals more eccentric than your cat's monogram, American Airlines often offers delectable prices for the round-trip. The best time to book is, well, pretty much anytime. So, hold onto your monocles, ladies and gents, as I predict a revival of demand for flights between New York and Newark. Bon voyage!

So, travellers of the world, dare to laugh in the face of logic, buckle your seat belts, turn off all electronic devices and prepare to embark on the smallest journey of your life on an American flight from New York to Newark. Because, why not?