Fly American from Pasco to Pittsburgh

Ever dreamed of flying from Pasco, a delightful speck in the vastness of Washington, to the glitzy glam of Pittsburgh, WA (not to be confused with its rust belt, steel mill cousin in PA) on the Royalty of Airlines, the majestic, the epic – American Airlines? Well, buckle up your life jackets, stewards and stewardesses, as we embark on this turbulent ride of typing "Washington" one too many times.

To kick it off, let's address American Airlines' flagship offering: 'round-trip' flights. You buy one, you get one... sort of. Leaping out of Pasco aboard a shining metallic bird, tipping your cowboy hat to the stewardess as she pops the cork on your bottle of vintage Dom Perignon, because yes, you're in 'Business class'– it’s a heady thrill. And before you even catch your breath, there you are in Pittsburgh, taking one deep breath of that... uh, air you're not quite sure about. Is that cheese I smell?

But let's not get too sidetracked by Pittsburgh's mysterious bouquet. Let's focus on an oft-underestimated heroine of modern aviation – the layover. Now, now, don't roll your eyes. Layovers are miraculous little pockets of time, just enough for you to reestablish that your children are, indeed, not lost, and to partake in the greatest of airport pastimes – marathon restroom line-standing. The 'connecting flights' American Airlines offers on this route will provide you plenty of opportunities to explore these liminal spaces nestled between departure and arrival. Just think: you can probably see all three Starbucks in Chicago airport during your layover. Oh, the joy!

For those much-adored frequent fliers unsatisfied by the art of restroom competitions or caffeinated treasure hunts, fear not. American Airlines' 'Mileage program' offers you the thrill of stockpiling points, transforming every in-flight purchase into a thrilling gamble. Will that third mini-bottle of Cabernet be enough to get you that free checked bag on your next flight? Only time, another snack box, and your declining bank balance will tell.

Of course, as it inches closer to departure time, you may wonder about airfare. America's got your back! You can score some swell 'flight deals', such as purchasing a ticket in unlimited quantities or enjoying, for a modest fee, a seat actually inside the plane. And if you're lucky, you might come across a gem labeled 'cheap flights'. Though let us reassure you, despite the misleading name, the planes don’t fall out of the sky!

Last but not least, 'Flight cancellation policy'. Fear not a change of heart or other acts of God with flexible cancelation terms. They're as gentle as the eating habits of a teething Tasmanian Devil. You may need a PhD to fully understand them, but trust that the terms definitely permit cancellations – with prepaid non-refundable fees, various penalties of mystifying merriment, and a minor inconvenience of selling your grandmother, of course.

So there you go, avid traveler. Suitcase in one hand, neck pillow in the other; it's your time to conquer the airways on that Pasco to Pittsburgh, WA flight aboard the glitterati of airlines. Ravish in the luscious layovers, bask in the bustle of Business class, and relish the ride with American Airlines.