Fly American from Provo to Sao Paulo

Welcome, dear globetrotter, into the astonishing world of flying - where "cheap flights" are as elusive as unicorns, and "airfare"? Well, that's Latin for "you will sell a kidney". Today, we embark on the epic odyssey from Provo in UT to the far-off lands of Sao Paulo, UT via truly miraculous air commuting services of American Airlines.

The airlines industry, in its divine wisdom, has given us a confusing labyrinth of options like “Direct flights”, “One-way”, “Round-trip”, “Layover”, and “Non-stop”. Spoiler Alert: They are all designed to turn your wallet into an empty shell. But fear not, fellow traveler, for I shall guide you through these murky waters!

Starting with airfare, the art of landing cheap flights requires divine intervention and sacrificing your first-born to the gods of air travel. Or, more simply, clicking the 'best flight deals' on your standard fare-searching apps. Let's not dwell on the odds of both those methods.

For our journey, take a “round-trip” unless Sao Paulo, UT has an irresistible charm that makes you wish to live there forever. "Direct flights" are a myth, my friend. The truth is, you are more likely to discover Bigfoot in your garden than a direct flight from Provo to São Paulo, UT. So, pack a survival kit for your inevitable layover. And a book. Lots of books.

Flight duration is a funny thing. It's a lot like baking a soufflé. It could take 3 hours or it could take 13 hours. It all depends on how sulky the weather gods are, how delayed your connecting flights are, and whether the Falcon from the Marvel Universe is flying your plane.

Moving around the economic spectrum of air travel like economy class, premium economy, Oh-my-god-how-much-does-this-cost class - it's essentially about how much do you value leg room and whether you want to gamble on the likelihood of a crying baby sitting next to you.

The core of every airline's cunning plan, also known as "baggage allowance", is another sweet mystery. Keep it simple. Pack what you need and then leave half of it at home. You're going to come back with souvenirs that look cute only during your vacation and FAQs about the Mileage program that you were too embarrassed to ask during your flight.

Speaking of mileage program, don't fall into that trap. Unless you are a frequent flyer who can convert 'air-miles' to 'savings' in your sleep - it's a code more complex than the Da Vinci code, and I assure you, Tom Hanks isn't coming to rescue you.

The in-flight services are designed to distract you from the fact that you are in a metal tube, thousands of feet above solid ground. On a good day, you'll find the latest "Fast & Furious" movie on the in-flight entertainment. On a bad day, it's the monotonous humming of the engines. I suggest investing in noise-cancelling headphones.

Before you leave, check the flight cancellation policy. It's no fun being stranded when you find out your flight has been cancelled and the staff have disappeared faster than Houdini himself.

American Airlines has been a favorite choice, with positive airline reviews that appreciates the flight schedule featuring a balance between speed and affordable prices. But always remember: planning an itinerary is like trying to fall asleep; you'll get there eventually, but expect a lot of tossing and turning.

Now, go forth! Conquer the skies, and may the odds of finding cheap flights be ever in your favor.