Fly American from Raleigh to Palm Springs

If there were a Nobel Prize for which city has the most sun, one would assume Palm Springs, California is a top contender. It would sit across from poet laureate Robert Frost on a red velvet couch, both scrutinizing the platter of shrimp cocktail their hosts served as light refreshments. Ironically, Robert Frost, the patron saint of snow-laden woods and frosty mornings, has to explain once again that no, he’s not related to Jack Frost and could you please unhand his margarita, please?

Perhaps you're considering indulging in a whimsical round-trip flight from the watchful eyes of Raleigh, North Carolina to frolic in Palm Springs' year-round sunny dystopia. Might I introduce you to the mechanized divinity that is American Airlines? You, dear reader, ought to familiarize yourself with this illustrious form of transportation, equipped with the power to deftly span time zones with more panache than Jules Verne's Phileas Fogg.

American Airlines does contain the word "American", which is undoubtedly reassuring. Surely, there's evident patriotism and an unmistakable suggestion of apple pie somewhere within its extensive flight schedule.

Let's take a moment to envision the experience, lest we enter into such an endeavor with rambunctious ignorance. Imagine a non-stop flight upon which the stewardesses have succumbed to a collective case of amnesia and tirelessly ask if they can interest you in yet another chilled packet of peanuts. Here, in the glorious domain of air travel, you will find the airline’s in-flight services, sensational in their variety and thoughtfully curated to be both maddeningly neat and scrupulously vacuum-sealed. Surely the symphony of a few hundred similarly packaged snacks being opened simultaneously is the opera of the 21st century!

As the green rolling hills of Raleigh give way to the endemic opulence of Palm Springs, you might wonder with a touch of despair whether or not your baggage allowance included your dignity. Fear not! American Airlines, in their prophetic wisdom, maintains a generous allowance to ensure mysterious brown paper packages tied up with strings can accompany the trek along with your favorite things, regardless of whether they jingle, jangle or merely look like something your Aunt Mildred would bestow upon you.

Amid the melancholic splendor of airfare dealings, planning your escapade merits a brief discussion. With the logic of a rare, mountain-dwelling yodeling walrus, certain mad scientists have stormed the internet offering proclamations involving the best time to book flights. These proclamations vary wildly under the light of the full moon and hinge considerably on the transit of Venus.

Have you been obsessively scouring the internet for cheap flights to sate your capitalist conditioning? Rest easy, compatriot, for American Airlines is always ready to sweep in with tantalizing flight deals. They often involve last-minute flights so catastrophically uncharted they make Indiana Jones look like an overstuffed armchair critic. But who can resist the thrills of spontaneity?

Dear reader, brace yourself as you embark on this airborne journey. Nonetheless, be wary of the perhaps misplaced ferocity with which American Airlines touts its frequent flyer program. Such an ostentatious display is akin to that of a silverback gorilla that has serendipitously discovered the destructive power of its pounding chest. Take heart that your journey from the southern charm of Raleigh to the cosmic audacity of Palm Springs comes, quite fittingly, with a side of America.