Fly American from Santa Maria to Houston

Oh joy, you're planning to fly American from Santa Maria in California to Houston, aren't you? Let's embark on this exciting journey together, shall we? And by 'exciting,' I mean, let's prepare for hours of fun-filled actions like removing our shoes at the security checkpoint and squeezing ourselves into glorified tin cans that hurtle through the sky at 500-plus miles per hour.

Lucky for you, my intrepid globetrotter, there are plenty of "flights" available to bring you from the rolling hills of Santa Maria to the towering skyscrapers of Houston, Texas. Because who wouldn't want to exchange one part of America's vast and varied landscape for another, right? Well, first you have to decide if you want to opt for a one-way ticket or be sensible and get a round-trip one because, after all, chances are you’d want to come back, right?

Now, in the vast universe of airfare, we have a range of options. You can enjoy the wallet-friendly "cheap flights" or you could go swanky and opt for first-class or even business class. You have the premium economy, for those who fancy themselves an elite "economist." Isn't it marvelous how airline companies have come up with such impressive ways to class mundane air travel?

And then there's the choice between direct flights and those oh-so-thrilling connecting flights. You may as well pack a bag full of novelties and time-consuming activities because you're in for a finest dose of "layover." Recent research has shown that layovers are perfect for stimulating your brain with crucial life questions such as "Why am I here?" and "Is Sbarro the best cuisine available at this airport?"

And hey, don't forget about the mileage program. Couple this with a degree in mathematics and you'll have all the necessary tools to decrypt the algorithm that allows you to earn a free flight after your million miles of gallivanting the globe. This is also an ideal time to research the airline's baggage allowance so you have a clear understanding of the arsenal of wardrobe options you can take along to incisely express your sartorial savvy.

All jokes aside, be sure to read the airline's in-flight services and flight cancellation policy ahead of time. Nothing beats the fun of buying a non-transferrable, non-refundable ticket, am I right? And always remember, when dealing with airlines, the best policy is to cross your fingers and wish upon a star.

Finally, keep in mind the best time to book your journey to Houston is unlikely to be three minutes before the flight takes off as plenty of airline companies frown upon the whole last-minute flights thing. Be sure that all emergency exit seats should be fully booked long before your hurried arrival at the airport.

All-in-all, I commend your adventurous spirit on this magical journey from Santa Maria to Houston. I trust that the experience will ignite a deep and meaningful relationship with the wonders of air travel. After all, airport terminals really are the most magical places on Earth... or at the very least, they usually have a pretty decent food court. Safe travels!