Fly American from Spokane to Chicago

Well, congratulations traveler, you've decided to embark on an oh-so-thrilling Odyssey from Spokane to Chicago via the ever-so-luxurious, heart-stoppingly exciting realm of American Airlines. You can already smell the stale in-flight peanuts and taste the watered-down coffee, can't you? Buckle up, because this journey is about to be the highlight of your year, guaranteed.

Let's start by addressing the elephant in the room about your flight duration. Oh, isn't Saskatchewan just days away from Chicago? I mean, hold your breath and you might pass out before reaching. But here we are, talking about a flight that, best case scenario, is going to make you wish you had mastered the art of teleportation.

Here's the thing about flight deals, they're the twisted labyrinths that you have to navigate like Theseus with your sanity as the proverbial string. But not to worry, thanks to technology and a ton of luck, you'll stumble upon cheap flights. Or not. Fingers crossed though, huh?

Oh, but let's have a thunderous applause for non-stop flights, the hero weading you away from those dastardly connecting flights. No more traipsing aimlessly around labyrinthine airports during an unfathomably lengthy layover. No more wondering if your flight will leave within the same geological era as when you checked in. Delightful!

Next, the wonderful, surreal, mind-numbing choice between economy class and business class. The one where you examine your bank statement like a dejected Sherlock Holmes for a clue to lead you to the treasure of generous legroom and more than one kind of cheese in your in-flight meal. Is it worth your retirement fund? Of course! Laugh in the face of reasonable budgeting and join the high-flyers club.

Oh wait, you haven’t even started packing yet, have you? Well, that’s another enthralling journey in itself. Trying to decipher the cryptic hieroglyphs known as the baggage allowance might just earn you a degree in ancient civilisation. Prepare to battle the forces of physics and estimation to ensure your suitcase fits under that featherweight limit because, you know, an extra sock might just be too much for the cargo hold.

Unless, of course, you're a frequent flyer. Which then, clearly you've been blessed by Zeus himself. How could you not accept the invitation to join the breathtakingly elite 'mile high club? No, not that one, get your mind out of the gutter. I’m talking about the airline’s mileage program. Yep, simply fly the length of the Earth's circumference 37 times and you can earn yourself a half-priced sandwich on your next domestic flight. You, my friend, are living the dream!

As a passenger of American Airlines, you can recline blissfully in your seat knowing that whatever pleasurable surprises your upcoming voyage holds, it will not include a stop in Spokane. Enjoy the ride!