Fly American from Spokane to Seattle

Well bogeyman, may we give it to you straight? There's nothing quite so dull as the everyday drone of "flights between Spokane and Seattle". Don't get us wrong, Spokane - you're lovely, oh! the wonders you hold, but the charm fades ever so slightly when one is inching through pylons of traffic on the I-90 for the eightieth time in a month. Thus was born the innovative, the daring, the exciting prospect of... flying! That's it, just flying. Simple. Unthrilling. Until it isn't.

Dare we acquaint you with the American marvel that is American? Airline, that is. Now before you go painting the drabbest picture imaginable, consider this prodigious world of airfare, connecting flights, or heaven forbid... layovers. We kid, of course, because this isn't your grandmother's layover in Albuquerque. This is a direct, non-stop spectacle from Spokane to Seattle.

Behold, the majestic beauty of the round-trip. Does the roundness of it all enchant you? It's circuitous, like those riveting Merry-go-rounds, bracing horses that bob to a hypnotic tune. The return is assured, as wholesome as mama's apple pie, granting you peace of mind in an otherwise chaotic cosmos. It's just one-way to the Emerald City, then one-way back to the lovely Spokane, simple as that. Joyously lackluster.

But wait, there's more, we hear you whisper, surely? Well wasn't that grand, our astute travellers have a hunch! Right you are, because this flight, this magnificent airborne adventure, is as cheap as they come! Cheap flights, they brand them, scoffing at the monetary implication. But we know better, dear reader - it's a ruse. A clever ploy. As if this priceless treasure could be bought with mere dollars! Tell us another.

Oh, before we forget - economy class... now there's a tale. A fiery baptism in the dramatic world of shoebox-sized legroom and microwave-heated dinners. Sardines in Economy class, they say. But, lo and behold, even this cloistered realm holds its charm. Like the forbidden allure of a red-eye flight, tickling the fringes of consciousness, plunging into the darkness of the horizon to emerge in an incandescent dawn. Enough to spin a dreary landscape into a Wes Anderson cinematic portrait, don't you agree?

And dare not forget about their flight cancellation policy. So accommodating, like an anxious suitor fearful of making the wrong impression, courtesy of a carefully orchestrated lightning storm. An adventure is assured, one way or another, unless the constellations conspire against you, of course. Truly, aren't the Gods whimsical?

Flights, they call them. As if soaring through the ether were as mundane as baking pie or tending to the garden. What a delightfully understated term, wouldn't you say? So slip on your Sunday finest, pack that eager bag and get ready to dance with the American skies from Spokane to Seattle. Go on, indulge. We promise to keep a secret!

Ah, the everyday miracles of routine flights - if the mundane bore doesn't make you chuckle just a pinch, we dare say, you're in the wrong business of life. Happy soaring!