Fly American from St. Louis to Bellingham

Whenever one books a flight from St. Louis, Missouri to Bellingham, most, if not all, cherish the sweet fantasy of swift, non-stop journeys, only to be cruelly awakened by the customary lair of the dreaded multi-layover reality. Believe it or not, direct flights from St. Louis to Bellingham are as rare as a unicorn. With the same dramatic flair, American Airlines, whose in-flight services are generally as reliable as your best mate's diet plans, has drafted hundreds of implausible flight schedules that seem bent on visiting every airport en route before reaching the final destination.

Having endured the torturous glee of their airfare erecting a majestic monument of crippling debt, the unsuspecting flyer embarks on their American Airlines journey. The adventure includes bounteous servings of layovers that outstay their welcome, rivalling an overeager relative visiting during the holidays. You could practically set your watch by the glacial pace of these layovers, only if you could tell whether the next part of the journey was a red-eye flight or not.

What is most fascinating is that they offer two types of journeys, one that is a round-trip and another that has a slightly twisted notion of 'one-way'. The round-trip, much like dating an ex again, promises a repeat performance of the same drama. The tart smile of the flight attendant on your way back almost seems to say, “Welcome back, we missed your bewildered expressions.”

On the other hand, the 'one-way' begins with a promise akin to a new love affair, only to cast you off in some random city U.S city where your checked baggage is living its own version of lost and found. Finally, when your checked baggage forgets its abandonment issues and catches up with you at Bellingham, you are ready to swear off flying forever, or at least until your next trip.

Alas! The allure of the airline's mileage program is so tantalizing that it wooes you with a promise of eventually earning enough miles for a free flight. Their frequent flyer program is very much like that carnival game that promises an Xbox for knocking down three ducks...which are incidentally weighted on the bottom. Only after numerous trials (read flights) and considerable damage to your wallet do you realize - It’s all smoke and mirrors!

But don’t look so downhearted! Amazingly enough, American Airlines has a surprisingly lenient flight cancellation policy. You can wave off your trip before it begins to shadow your holidays. And, let’s not forget, every time you toy with the idea of canceling your booking, their cheap flight deals surface like a well-timed sitcom advertisement trying to sell you another ticket instead.

To solve the mystery of the best time to book, it’s much recommended to refer to your horoscope. Heck, astrology might provide more insight than any logically timed airfare prediction!

Whimsy and hyperbole aside, it seems we are all aboard the same plane, united in mutual bafflement against the theatre of absurd that is air travel. Where we envisioned a non-stop flight, we face the comedy of layovers and flight schedules. Where we dreamed of majestic eagles, we often find ourselves flapping about with the pigeons. But armed with humor and a dash of irony, perhaps we can navigate the skies just a little better.