Fly American from St. Louis to Denver

Oh, joy of all joys, let's embark on a magical, rainbow-filled journey of planning your flight from the heart of the Midwest, the grand St. Louis in Missouri, all the way to... oh wait for it... Denver, Missouri. Not Denver, Colorado, where the mountains and legal marijuana are. No, Denver, Missouri. The Disneyland of the Midwest, I'm sure.

All sarcasm aside, as one does when meticulously planning a trip to the second-best Denver in the country, the first thing you'll need to do is find those elusive "flights." You'd think seeing as we're in the 21st century and all, they'd have invented an easier way, but no. Google is your friend, just type "cheap flights" and you'll be inundated with thousands of options, isn't choice wonderful?

Let's move on to something that your patience will surely love: layovers. Yes, those delightful little pauses in your journey that serve no other purpose than to remind you that time is eternal and airport food is overpriced. But, layover in Kansas City or Chicago adds costs and time to your joy-filled journey. On the contrary, direct flights are always there to show you the fast lane.

Next on our checklist to the paradise that is Denver, Missouri, is choosing between one-way or round-trip flights. I mean, who wouldn't want to be trapped in Denver, MO forever, right? But assuming you have people in St. Louis who would, for some unexplainable reason, miss you; you're going to be wanting that round-trip ticket.

Now, let's discuss flight classes. Oh, the options. There's 'business class,' where you'll find yourself surrounded by serious-looking fellows thumbing through PowerPoints while sipping on free cocktails. Or 'economy class,' where legroom goes to die but hey, at least it's budget-friendly. And then there's 'first-class.' If you fancy flying like a Hollywood superstar, feel free to extend that credit line. Of course, you might want to check the baggage allowance too.

In the world of aviation, timing is everything. The 'best time to book' is last Tuesday at 3:47 am during a full moon. Or so the travel blogs tell me. Nailing the perfect book time is like finding a unicorn at the end of a double rainbow. But hey, who doesn't enjoy a good challenge?

"In-flight services". We are getting to the real meat of the journey now. Will you have the privilege of a half-can of soda and maybe, if you're particularly lucky, a bag of miniature pretzels? Truly the height of luxury.

Ending on a happy note, let's talk 'flight cancellation policy'. Because nothing says 'travel excitement' quite like possible last-minute changes to your plans, out of your control, causing stress levels to soar higher than the plane you might not be on. Understanding the policy could save your hard-earned money.

Finally, delve into the thrilling world of 'airline reviews.' Nothing beats the delightful ramblings of previous passengers as they nitpick about every conceivable aspect of their flight. One man's "the crew was less than enthusiastic" is another man's "if I smile any more, my face will break."

Remember, planning your trip to the exotic land of Denver, Missouri, should be as thrilling as the trip itself. Feel the adrenaline, embrace the chaos, and good luck!