Fly American from St. Louis to Fargo

Here's a delightful piece of advice for those unsuspecting and innocent souls considering booking themselves on a celestial journey spanning from the curry-infused barbecue of our beloved St. Louis to the vast and unpredictable plains of Fargo, Missouri. Typical passengers of American, the airline operating flights that balance precariously between the dichotomy of the comfortable economy class and the ostentatious pretentiousness of first-class.

If you heard whispers in the wind about American's flight schedule offering non-stop, direct flights on this particular mountainous trajectory, let me remind you that this is as likely as spotting Elvis Presley jamming in the Grand Canyon. Unless you're in the club of extremely frequent flyers with a mile long airplane tattoo streaking down your body, prepare yourself for the inevitable layover. It does provide fodder for the traveler's diary: "Engaged in a staring contest with the departure board at the layover terminal."

On to the warm embrace of economy class, your ticket to experiencing the democratic camaraderie that American air travel affords. If you're some high-flyer flying business class and if your notion of 'traveler's essentials‘ includes martini, neck-pillows, and noise-cancelling headsets, my sympathies. The rest of us will be palm-wrestling for armrests and playing musical chairs with the unclaimed middle seat.

Yet, here comes the gleaming ray of hope that pierces the dismal travel oblivion. While booking your airfare may seem like negotiating the stock market trends, the best time to book that round-trip or if you're feeling brave, a one-way ticket, is whenever you feel a compulsive urge to critique the deceptively cheery flight attendant's understanding of turbulence.

Be forewarned, your baggage allowance stipulates one bag – a bag of patience, endurance, and an ear for the symphony of baby-cry solos. The only baggage they permit are the kind capable of fitting in an overhead compartment without the need for flattening by a hydraulic press.

It’s essential to decide whether you're a player in the gamble of last-minute flights. Unless you're a daredevil accountant with a taste for adrenaline, stay far away from these unscheduled lottery tickets.

Now, rejoice in the knowledge that in-flight services are a level-distributed adventure. The economy class offerings are limited to a can of soda and an unidentifiable packet of crisps. But those self-proclaimed monarchs in first-class are privy to the delight of reclining seats and a blanket that doesn't appear to be woven from steel wool.

Lastly, the question we travelers must ponder upon, 'To red-eye or not to red-eye?' The red-eye flight, an irresistible attraction to vampires and others who find solace in the cover of darkness. If for you, the night is nothing but a thick blanket of reprieve, then do indulge in this nocturnal flight of fancy.

As you embark on a journey besieged by the monotony of the check-in queue and the thrill of turbulent unknowns, remember, every flight is but a microcosm of life, right from the hiccuping start of the engines to the thud that marks your safe arrival.